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toinfinityandbeyonce:

MY ANACONDA DONT

toinfinityandbeyonce:

MY ANACONDA DONT

So this happened at Subway the other day
  • Me wearing my Pizza John shirt at subway:

  • Sandwich Artist:

    Who's that guy?

  • Me:

    Um... John Green.

  • Sandwich Artist:

    I've heard that name before. Is he like running for president?

  • Me:

    No.. He wrote some books. You've probably heard of The Fault In Our Stars.

  • Sandwich Artist:

    oh yeah. That thing . Well he should run for president. I'd vote for him, since I take it from your shirt he's a pizza fan. I'm pro pizza.

itsstuckyinmyhead:

Dads and Tumblr

foolproofidea:

OITNB cast with their character posters

THIS POST

  • my mom:

    don't ever ever meet up with strangers from the internet

  • me at 12:

    omg mom do you think i'm really that stupid i would never do that ugh

  • me now:

    so do you guys wanna move here and like live under my bed or something

petrichoriousparalian:

KING BREAB

petrichoriousparalian:

KING BREAB

clotpolesonly:

rememberrbuckybarnes:

tauriel2fab4u:

tauriel2fab4u:

IM MAKING A PIE AND I ACCIDENTALLY PUT IODINE IN IT INSTEAD OF VANILLA EXTRACT

I ALMOST FED THIS PIE TO MY FAMILY
I WAS GOING TO FEED THIS PIE TO MY CLASSMATES

I WAS ABOUT TO MURDER PEOPLE THROUGH PIE

LIKE LOOK AT THIS FUCKING PIE

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DOESNT IT LOOK NICE

DONT YOU WANT TO EAT IT

TOO FUCKING BAD ITS POISONOUS YOU’LL DIE

HOW DO YOU MIX UP IODINE AND VANILLA EXTRACT

WHY DO YOU HAVE IODINE IN THE KITCHEN

WHY DO YOU HAVE IT AT ALL

WHY

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katherineobscura:

Guys be like “don’t wear leggings if you don’t got no ass” and I see you bitches walking around in muscle shirts without any muscles so pipe the fuck down

posidone:

posidone:

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*flicks holy water at screen* evil spirits begone, the power of christ compels you

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come back evil spirits i didn’t mean it

foxboy:

foxboy:

IM SO ANGRY THAT PINEAPPLES DONT GROW ON TREES

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THIS PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH YOU DOTN EVEN KNOW

laughhard:

I think I stumbled on the Internet’s greatest Yelp review.

laughhard:

I think I stumbled on the Internet’s greatest Yelp review.